Welcome to my blog! A little background on myself... Like I said in my profile, I have been teaching for 10 years. I have a bachelor's degree in elementary education and a master's degree in curriculum and instruction, plus I have 45 credits in classroom management, communicating with parents, etc. In addition, I have over 600 hours in professional development.
My hope is to use this blog as a tool for you, as a parent, to ask questions openly and honestly. My goal is to help answer those questions as efficently as possible.
The most common question that I get is: How do I get my kid to do their homework? It's always a fight and pretty much sets the tone for our entire evening. Well, guess what? I had no idea what you meant until I had a school age child of my own. My daughter is a pretty smart cookie, and prior to her going to kindergarten, she would play school and beg for worksheets. That all ended abruptly within the first month of kindergarten. Boy, was I caught off guard the first time, I watched my six year old throw herself on the floor, kicking and crying, spit flying out of her mouth. If you have a child this age, you probably know what I mean. Well, we spent 4 good months, with the daily tantrum when it came time for homework. I thought, what's the problem? It's not the level of difficulty. She's a smart kid. The work was really easy for her. I was doing everything the way my mom told me to do it. Immediately upon coming home, I made her sit down and do her homework before she did anything else. For some kids, that might work. For some kids, they are anxious to do it right away, so that they're done for the night. No worries, only playtime. Not my kid. Didn't work for my kid. Eventually, I did get to the root of the problem. The first thing to remember is that your child works hard all day at school. Yeah, they get to socialize at lunch time, they have recess, twice every six days, they have gym, but the fact is, your child works hard all day. Seriously, imagine trying to retain everything your child's teacher is telling them day after day, after day. My daughter didn't appear tired when she got home from school, but the truth is, she needed a break AND she needed some positive attention, without nagging from me. Think about it-she was just nagged to pay attention at school all day! So that began our new routine.
After I picked up my son and daughter from school, we'd come home and drop their things in a corner in the dining room, and sit up at the island and talk while we shared a snack. When I get home from work, my instinct is to run upstairs and get out of my uncomfortable, dressy work clothes, but I resisted the urge to do that and sat at the island with the kids. I asked about their day and we shared a snack for about 15 minutes. Then, we set our goals for the night (play uno, play dinosaurs, etc.) And yes, I always set one goal for each kid, each night. I was finding that I would get caught up in cleaning the house, baking muffins, and organizing random things, that bedtime would come and I never played with the kids. Not a good feeling when I went to bed each night. So setting a goal, helped hold me accountable for keeping my word to them and I went to bed feeling at peace each night. (Don't get me wrong, I wanted to play with my kids, but with all of the other things that us working moms need to get done, I was finding that I wasn't taking the time to do that things that were really important-spending time with the kiddos.)
Anyway, I'd clean the house, play with the kids and have bathtime. (Oh, and once in a while find a few minutes to talk to my husband-ha, that's a whole nother blog!) This is when I gently squeezed homework time in. I'd get a snack for the kids and allow my daughter to do her homework while she was snacking. (Keep in mind, you have to choose a not so messy snack if your child is going to do homework while eating.) Pretzels, goldfish, grapes usually work. Anything that they can quickly and easily throw into their mouth. (I beg you not to give them cheese puffs!!! You have no idea how many homework sheets I get with cheese puffs fingerprints on-gross!!) For my daughter, she was able to multi-task and get the job done while snacking. And it went pretty quickly too.
Now that she's a first grader, she still whines about her homework, but I did have one new realization this year. She's excited to do the homework that is challenging for her. It makes her feel important when she gets harder work.
I know every child is different, so here are some other suggestions for kids who are struggling with getting their homework done:
1. Ask yourself, is their homework too hard or too easy for them? If their homework is too hard for them, are you having trouble helping them with it? Some of the ways that things are taught these days are way different then we learned them as kids. Are you the frustrated one because you can't help? If your child's homework is too hard for them, talk to the teacher about it. When I have a student who is struggling with homework, I have to ask myself, have I taught it well enough that they can practice it independently at home? What's the purpose of homework anyway? (that's another topic that I feel VERY STRONGLY ABOUT-read my article called, "My Take on Homework") If your child has a good teacher, they will reteach it to them, (during class time, not during recess, I might add!!) and make sure they get the basics of it, before sending it home again for homework. Just jot the teacher a note, and write, please help! As a teacher, I'd be happy to! Is their homework too easy for them? In that case, what are they doing in class? Are they bored in class? Does the work need to be taken up a notch to keep them interested and excited about learning?
2. What is the atmosphere like when your child is doing their homework? Are you cooking dinner? Listening to the radio? Is the tv on? (Whether it's Dr. Phil time or not, you gotta turn that thing off during homework time!) Are your other kids playing dart tag in the kitchen where she's trying to complete her work? My advice-Find a quiet place for your child to do their homework each night. Pick the same place each night. Kids like to know what to expect. Even if your child doesn't need your help, just sitting next to them, makes them feel like what their doing is valuable and important. Sometimes, I work on "homework" too. I sit on the stool next to her and organize my coupon book, write a grocery list, etc. I don't even have to be interacting with her. Just my presence is enough.
3. How much homework does your child have and how long does it take them? How much is too much you ask? It all depends on your child. Experts say that kids shouldn't have more than 10 minutes for each grade that they're in. (1st grade=10 minutes, 2nd grade=20 minutes, etc.) I have my views on that, to be discussed later. But I would definitely have to say that if your child is spending more than that amount of time on homework, it's too much!! Talk to the teacher about cutting the amount of homework down. Just because a child has 20 addition math problems one night, doesn't mean they are going to become better at addition problems. Most likely, they'll rush to get it finished and end up with lots of errors, and be so confused because they're too frustrated to try to figure out the mistakes that their making. Key-talk to the teacher and tell them what's going on. Don't let your kid suffer.
4. Does your child want to play with the neighbor kids? Want to watch a show on tv? Try doing homework later. Give her some time to relax and socialize, then complete it later. No one said you HAVE to make them do it right after school, right?
Maybe you need a homework incentive. There are pro's and con's to incentives, but they do work for some kids. I have a bagful of ideas if you need them!
What else is holding your child back from getting their homework done? Tell us about your homework experiences!
